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Sneaking Around Old Age: The Amusing Challenges of Older Adult Sex

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Who Says Older Adult Sex Isn’t the Best?

Hot older adult sex is a topic that the younger set may often snicker at. Nobody ever thinks they’re going to get older and need to use a lot more lube, wear a back brace during lovemaking (think of it as a sexy corset!) inject hormone boosters, take blue pills, or use a wedge pillow for better positioning during a bout of arthritis.

But we know that our experience and expression of intimacy as mature adults is evolving just as it should. The passions we feel, the actions we take, and the connections we crave may shift with the passing years. While some facets remain constant, such as the longing to love and be loved, aging brings new opportunities to redefine intimacy on our own terms.

What is Intimacy and How Does it Relate to Older Adult Sex?

Intimacy encompasses the multi-layered ways we experience and communicate affection, sexuality, closeness, and vulnerability with others. It involves both physical and emotional dimensions, each uniquely personal in meaning. The intimacy we share with partners can include a spectrum of sensual expression, from holding hands to sexual union. With close friends or family, intimacy may involve deep conversation, embracing, or simple unhurried company. The key is that intimacy stems from care, trust and mutual understanding.

Transforming Desires

As our bodies and life perspectives transform over time, intimacy often takes on new meanings. Some find their interests in sensuality deepen, while others experience a decreased longing for sexual expression and chasing older adult sex takes a backseat to cultivating companionship and deep friendships.

Emotional intimacies like lifelong friendship may take on greater significance. Priorities recalibrate, inhibitions ease, and confidence grows to ask for what we truly need in relationships. While fluctuations in health impact our sensual capacities at times, our yearning for meaning, vulnerability and care remains. By honoring our own evolving needs, intimacy can flower into its most profound beauty.

Physical Changes That Can Make Older Adult Sex More Amusing

Aging brings natural physical changes that can influence sensual experiences. As hormone levels shift, bodily responses transform—a process known as andropause in men and menopause in women. Vaginal dryness may increase, erections lessen, and arousal take more time. Such changes are common, though cutting-edge treatments exist to ease discomfort.

Openness, creativity and patience in bed help partners adapt intimacy to changing physical capacities. Beyond intercourse, a wealth of erotic expressions remain through which to give and receive pleasure. Some sexy mature romantics have noted that due to physical challenges, shifting their focus from full-on sex and transitioning into longer hugging, kissing and sensual touching sessions has resulted in more satisfaction than they’d ever experienced before!

How Health Conditions Influence Older Adult Sex

Various health conditions later in life can also impact sensual connections. But intimate possibilities often still remain.

As we age, certain illnesses and disabilities may arise that can affect sexual function and intimacy. Being aware of these potential challenges is key, so proactive solutions can be explored. Here we will examine some common conditions in detail, along with suggestions to ease difficulties:

Arthritis – The inflammation and joint pain from arthritis can make certain sexual positions uncomfortable. Changing positions, using pillows for support, and taking warm baths beforehand can help reduce pain. Medications, assistive devices, and sometimes surgery may also provide arthritis relief.

Chronic Pain – Generalized pain, from conditions like fibromyalgia, can sap energy and derail the mood for intimacy. Managing pain through treatments, massage, mindfulness, and support groups may help couples regain connection. Talking through frustrations also alleviates strain. 

Diabetes – Uncontrolled blood sugar in diabetes can impact arousal, erections, lubrication, and increase risk of infections. Keeping glucose levels balanced, staying active, using lubricants, and vaginal estrogen can aid function. Doctors can suggest alternate medications if needed.

Heart Disease – Those with heart conditions may fear intimacy could trigger cardiac events. Usually, sex is safe with doctor guidance. More foreplay may be needed to warm up, and avoiding exhaustion through position changes can help. Staying active and managing risk factors boosts cardiovascular health.

Incontinence – Leaking urine during intimacy is common with age. Emptying the bladder beforehand, using protective pads, avoiding forceful movements, and Kegel exercises will minimize leaks. Some medications, medical laser devices or surgery can treat incontinence as well.

Medications – Numerous prescription drugs carry sexual side effects like reduced libido, vaginal dryness, and erectile dysfunction. Consult doctors about lower dose or alternate therapies. Never abruptly stop medication without medical advice.

Mental Health Issues – Depression, anxiety and dementia influence sexual interest and function. Counseling, social support, lifestyle changes and adapted care strategies can aid intimacy. Understanding root causes is key.

Mobility Issues – Joint replacements, paralysis, or weakness may make certain positions challenging. Pillows, mobility aids, adapted furniture, and flexibility exercises help accommodate mobility limitations during intimacy.

Surgeries – Hysterectomies, prostate removal or mastectomies can impact sexuality and body image. Counseling, support groups, hormone therapies and open communication with partners facilitate the transition.

The physical changes of aging do not diminish our fundamental need for closeness. By learning to adapt to evolving capacities, intimacy can continue to enrich our lives across the years.

Now that we’ve covered some of the physical challenges of older adult sex, I’d like to address some wonderful natural solutions that may work for you if your physical challenges are only mild to moderate. Try these when only a little boost is needed to get you and your partner back on track.

How to Enhance Older Adult Sex With Natural and Herbal Remedies, Supplements and Vitamins

If a prescription for medication is not the answer, there are certainly healthy alternatives that can make older adult sex your best ever.

Naturopathic specialists can suggest herbal remedies and natural medicines that can boost libido, performance and make older adult sex a pleasure.

I’m personally a huge fan of the power of natural phytoestrogens for post-menopausal women (especially Pueraria Mirifica) as well as plant-based Progesterone and DHEA creams (available over the counter).  I’ve seen Maca powder work wonders in my personal male friends. None of these remedies work instantly but need time and patience to build up in the body.

The most powerful modality I’ve seen for mature men’s sexual performance is, of course, Testosterone replacement therapy, but that is a serious medical endeavor requiring regular monitoring with bloodwork. It’s NOT a simple vitamin you take once a day. But it can truly transform the sex lives and romantic mood of more mature men.

I do not recommend taking any herbal or plant-based supplements until you’ve had all the proper bloodwork and a consultation with a qualified medical professional in functional medicine or naturopathy.

Here is a short list below of several natural plant-based and naturopathic herbs that might be suggested to you during a holistic medicine consult. These may enhance sexual enjoyment and performance as an older adult.

These herbals are believed to enhance older adult sex performance, along with their purported benefits and who they may help:

  • Tribulus (Tribulus terrestris) – Herb said to boost testosterone and thus increase libido and performance in men.
  • Maca (Lepidium meyenii) – Root vegetable used to enhance arousal, erection strength in men and libido in both sexes.
  • Damiana (Turnera diffusa) – Stimulant herb used to increase blood flow, sensitivity and orgasm intensity in both men and women.
  • Muira Puama (Ptychopetalum olacoides) – Bark said to heighten libido, erection hardness and duration for men.
  • Ginkgo Biloba – Taken to amplify blood flow and nitric oxide for firmer erections in men. May also heighten arousal in women.
  • Panax Ginseng – Root shown to act as an aphrodisiac and improve erectile function in men. Boosts energy also. Pay attention to quality here.
  • Yohimbe (Pausinystalia yohimbe) – Alkaloid to dilate blood vessels, treat ED and prolong arousal in men.
  • Ashwagandha (Withania somnifera) – Adaptogenic herb to balance hormones and reduce stress/anxiety related sexual dysfunction in both sexes.
  • Pueraria Mirifica – Phytoestrogen-rich herb used to increase vaginal lubrication in women and breast firmness.
  • Fenugreek (Trigonella foenum-graecum) – This aromatic herb from the legume family has long been used to boost libido and performance in both men and women. The seeds contain compounds like trigonelline that are thought to boost estrogen and testosterone levels. In men, fenugreek may enhance sexual desire and erectile function. In women, it may help improve arousal, lubrication and sexual satisfaction. However, human studies are limited. Those with hormone-sensitive cancers or conditions should avoid fenugreek. Side effects may include diarrhea, gas or allergic reactions. As with any supplement, check with your doctor before trying fenugreek for sexual enhancement.

Please note that while traditionally used, robust clinical evidence is still limited for many of these supplements. It’s best to consult either a traditional or naturopathic doctor before using herbal remedies.

Renewing Desire

While physical changes may recalibrate sensual capacities, passion persists through the art of renewal. Playfulness, presence and experimentation keep intimacy exciting, no matter one’s age or stage. Couples can explore new positions, introductions of toys, erotic readings, and leisurely pleasuring. Therapy or workshops help some gain confidence and skills. Dating remains possible for those seeking partnerships anew. Above all, self-acceptance and mutual care are intimacy’s foundation. With compassionate understanding, we adapt sensual expression to evolving capacities across the years. 

Honoring Uniqueness

There is no singular definition for sensual connection as we age. Some thrive when sexuality deepens in committed unions. Others relish new experiences as they re-emerge as singles. Still others find intimacy through close companionship devoid of sex. To each their own. Through openness, understanding and shedding limiting beliefs, expanded possibilities unfold. Aging brings the gift of self-knowledge—by listening within, we discover what intimacy now means for us.

A Last Thought on Older Adult Sex…

While intimacy evolves across our lives, our longing for closeness remains timeless. As the body transforms, we respond with patience, adaptation and wisdom gained from living. Through open communication and unhurried exploration, sensual expression unfolds in new ways, rich with resonance. Aging intimacies, grounded in care, call us to savor connection on our own terms. When we honor our uniqueness, intimacy ripens into its most meaningful manifestation.

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