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Going For It: The Best Ways To Embrace Your Senior Sexuality

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Exploring the Intricacies of Our Silver and Gold Senior Sexuality

Good day, my sexy savvy seniors! Now I know that for some of us more mature folks, senior sexuality can be a touchy and sometimes taboo topic. But there’s no need to blush – it’s a natural part of the human experience at any age. In fact, many of us find that our sexuality evolves into something new and beautiful as we get older.

Please come along as we explore the intricacies of our maturing sexuality with open minds and open hearts.

Table of Contents

Sexuality Isn’t Set in Stone: Exploring Fluidity in Mature Years

First, it’s important to understand that sexuality exists on a spectrum. It’s far more complex than just being “gay” or “straight.” Sexuality encompasses our desires, identities, emotional connections, and more. There’s no one definition that fits everyone. As the saying goes, “Variety is the spice of life!”

Letting Go of Labels: Embracing Your Unique Sexual Identity After 60

Let’s start by looking at sexual orientation. This refers to who we’re sexually and romantically attracted to. Some common orientations include heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, and asexual. But there are many more besides! The key is to honor each individual’s self-identified orientation. How we label our sexuality is deeply personal. As long as it feels right to you, that’s what matters most.

Gender identity also plays a role in our sexuality. Gender identity is our inner sense of being male, female, a blend of both, or neither. For some folks, their gender matches their biological sex. But for others, it doesn’t. Remember that the gender we identify as internally is far more important than the sex we were assigned at birth.

A Quick Refresher Course on Senior Sexuality Terms:

Please skip over this part if you know this vocabulary already, but some seniors may have been “out of the loop” for some years as their interests weren’t focused on such things. It’s helpful to know the lingo that’s floating around now around sexuality. Here’s a list of quick terms.

Here are some definitions of acronyms and terms in the article that some silver and golds may not be familiar with:

  • BDSM – Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism. An umbrella term for consensual erotic practices that involve power exchange, intense sensation, roleplay, and more. Can range from light to advanced.
  • LGBTQ+ – Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer/Questioning, and others. A common acronym that encompasses diverse gender identities and sexual orientations.
  • Polyamory – Consensual non-monogamy. Being romantically/sexually involved with multiple partners at the same time. Requires open communication.
  • Kink – Unconventional sexual interests and practices that fall outside of “vanilla” sex. Can include BDSM, roleplay, fetishes and more between consenting adults.
  • Tantra – Ancient Eastern practice that views sexuality as a pathway to spiritual enlightenment. Emphasizes mindfulness, intimacy, prolonging arousal.
  • Roleplay – Acting out fantasy scenarios or power dynamics with consenting partners. Can involve costumes, scripts, exploration of various identities.
  • Aftercare – Providing comfort, reassurance, hydration, and processing time after intense BDSM scenes or sex. Helps partners reconnect.
  • Libido – Your overall sex drive and desire for sexual activity. Can fluctuate over time due to health, hormones, moods.
  • Consent – Freely given, enthusiastic, voluntary agreement to engage in sexual activity. Can be withdrawn any time. Essential for all healthy sexual encounters.

Getting Kinky After Retirement: Debunking Myths About Senior Sexuality

Now, let’s dive into those spicier topics – our erotic desires! Our individual desires are as unique as snowflakes. We all have different fantasies, kinks, and turn-ons that bring us pleasure. For some, that may mean enjoying sensual massages and tantric techniques to prolong arousal. Others may delight in roleplaying adventurous scenarios or engaging in light BDSM dynamics that explore power exchange. Many mature adults find that a playful sense of experimentation emerges after years of inhibition.

The key is to tune into what genuinely appeals to you and communicate openly with your partner(s). Make space to safely explore new horizons together if you both consent. You might be surprised what hidden interests emerge! Go at a comfortable pace and stop if anything ceases to feel enjoyable. Pay attention to signals from your body and emotions. Prioritize aftercare like cuddling and reassurance after intense play.

Don’t be afraid to incorporate toys, props, lingerie or music to enhance your experiences. Watch ethical, couple-friendly videos or read erotic literature to inspire new ideas if you feel unsure where to start. Attend workshops at sex-positive boutiques together if you wish to expand your skills with guidance.

Some couples even go so far as attending the more “be and be seen” types of sex parties or private clubs where they don’t feel pressured to exchange partners. Some events are designed more for coupled guests to simply soak up the ambiance of a sexually-charged environment of like-minded individuals, but without swinging or “switching partners.” One of my favorite clubs in the world for a sexy evening is Les Chandelles in Paris.

Most importantly, have fun with all of it! Laughter and playfulness amplify pleasure and connection.

The possibilities for erotic fulfillment are endless. By honoring each other’s authentic desires and staying present in the experience, our maturing sexuality has the potential to reach new heights of intimacy and joy. As comfort levels grow, inhibition gives way to confident, creative passion.

Peeking Under The Sheets of Senior Sexuality

Sexuality also involves emotional and spiritual connections. While the physical side is important, intimacy extends far beyond that. Some of us thrive on deepening bonds with long-term partners. Others may find fulfillment with more casual encounters. There’s beauty in all of it.

Our cultural backgrounds also shape our sexuality. The norms and values we grew up with influence how we think about intimacy. It’s good to reflect on (and sometimes question!) any cultural biases we may have absorbed over the years. Let’s challenge ourselves to be more inclusive and open-minded as a society. After all, our diversity is our strength! As my mother (who was born in the 1920’s) used to say when faced with someone a bit odd or outside her usual comfort zone: “Well, now wouldn’t the world be a boring place if we were all the same!”

Now you may be wondering – how can I embrace my own evolving sexuality (or devolving, as the case may sometimes be) in my mature years? Well, self-reflection is key. Take time to check in with your wants, needs and desires. Read up on topics like tantra, polyamory, or kink to expand your awareness. We’re never too old to get curious about what turns us on, or to get inspired by the secret private lives of others (or I should say, the ones willing to share on the internet either anonymously or out, loud and proud).

Then, have open and honest conversations with your partner or trusted friends. Getting different perspectives helps us discover hidden sides of ourselves. If you don’t have a partner, consider seeing a sex-positive therapist. They can provide guidance in a judgement-free zone.

Also, connect with communities that celebrate sexual diversity. Local LGBTQ+ centers offer workshops and social events. Online groups allow you to exchange insights without leaving home! Surround yourself with people who validate you for who you truly are.

Creative Intimacy: Adapting Your Sex Life Around Life’s Changes

Most importantly, embrace self-love and self-acceptance. How we feel about ourselves greatly impacts our intimate experiences. Make time for solo sensual exploration through baths, massages, or light touch. Learn what helps you feel relaxed, beautiful, and in the mood for pleasure.

Desire once again, can be on a spectrum. For some, letting go of sexual passion and quietly embracing asexuality as they age is a peaceful, deliberate choice. On the other end of the spectrum, after losing a lifelong partner, some seniors might “get frisky.” He or she may enjoy the social whirl of many new and different sexual/social partners that light up their life with variety, exciting dates and light companionship.

For partnered play, communicate clearly about your wants and boundaries. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need in bed – your fulfillment matters. Speak up if something doesn’t feel right. Healthy sexuality is based on enthusiastic consent from all involved.

Remember that sex should never hurt. Certain conditions like vaginal dryness, erectile dysfunction, or pain disorders can make intimacy challenging. See your doctor or treat yourself to a discreet online medical consultation with a reputable medical professional, to explore potential treatments.

Refuse A Sabotaged Sex Life By Exploring and Embracing The Latest Treatments for Senior Sexuality

There are so many options to help you maintain a satisfying sex life. Some of these are emerging inpatient treatment technologies like hormone replacement, tightening and rejuvenating lasers, fillers and injections for our aging anatomy. These interventions can rapidly increase our ability to give and receive physical pleasure.

Testosterone replacement therapy for aging men can be an incredibly powerful game-changer in the bedroom!

With openness, creativity, and help from in-the-know experts, many sexual performance and comfort obstacles can be overcome. So many people (more than you probably know!) are quietly tucking into their local anti-aging and wellness clinics to discuss enhancing their senior sexuality with the latest cutting-edge treatments.

Also, don’t neglect protection and regular STI testing. While risk of pregnancy decreases post-menopause, condoms still prevent infections. Get into the habit of using them for intercourse and oral sex. Stay up to date on vaccines, medications, and cancer screenings too. Prioritize your sexual health just as you would any other aspect of your wellbeing.

Communication is Key: Fostering Connection in Long-Term Relationships

Now, let’s touch on some common myths and misconceptions about senior sex that simply aren’t true:

Myth #1: Older adults lose their sex drives. False! Our libidos simply change as hormone levels shift. Many feel more relaxed and self-assured in their older years, empowering their sexuality.

Myth #2: Sex becomes less pleasurable as we age. Also false! While intercourse may require more warmup time, many report their orgasms actually intensify. Factor in added confidence and skill – there are definite perks to seasoned lovers!

Myth #3: Seniors don’t embrace kink or experimentation. Not true! In fact, many delight in exploring new positions, toys, or power dynamics now that inhibitions have softened. Light BDSM, roleplay, and more are on the table.

Myth #4: Older couples stop being intimate. Nope, seniors need bonding and affection like anyone else. But intimacy encompasses far more than just intercourse. Try cuddling, massage, bathing together, or affectionate touching.

Myth #5: Seniors should remain monogamous. Monogamy works for some couples, but not all. Some develop more fluid agreements, embrace polyamory, or enjoy flings. There’s no universal rulebook for relationships in later life.

Myth #6: Queer seniors don’t come out or date. Completely false! Many LGBTQ+ folks find their most authentic selves after years of repression. Coming out can be liberating and lead to fulfilling new partnerships.

Senior Sex Can Be The Best Sex

The bottom line? Our sexuality blossoms with age like a fine wine. We become more attuned to our bodies’ wants and needs. Communication improves, inhibitions decrease, and confidence grows. There’s no expiration date on pleasure and connection.

Now, intimacy may require some creative adaptations to work around health conditions or changes. Don’t get discouraged if it takes more time and effort. Make adjustments and try new approaches until you find what works for your evolving body. The payoff is so worth it!

Dating and New Horizons: Finding Fulfillment with New Partners

If you’re single, don’t write off dating or new relationships either. Companionship provides emotional and physical perks at any age. Attend mixers, speed dating, get into online dating, or ask friends for introductions. Explain what you seek upfront when meeting potential partners. Between life experience and sexual confidence, you have so much to offer.

For couples, make intimacy a priority again. Touch and intimacy in the elderly is as important as ever, if not more as we age. Take time to savor the cuddles and caresses. Set the mood with music, candles, or lingerie to recapture the spark. Sometimes a little absence makes the heart (and body) fonder. Take a few days off from seeing one another (or get a separate apartment and “date” again) if you must! Flirt and be playful even after decades together. Explore one another’s evolving desires. The depth of connection possible after years together is unparalleled.

Self-Love and Self-Care: Cultivating Sexual Confidence in Your Golden Years

Let’s approach our maturing sexuality with courage and wisdom gained from living fully. Take some time out to journal or think deeply about what you really like and what you really want from these next best years of your life, as a sexy senior. Let your senior sexuality blossom into something even more beautiful than before. With open minds and open hearts, intimacy can be nurtured throughout all the seasons of our lives.

Frequently Asked Questions About Senior Sexuality

Are 70 year old females sexually active?

Yes, if that is what those 70-year old females desire and they have a special partner they’d like to play with. “Sexually active” can mean a myriad of things, from sexy touching to non-penetrative sex to so much more. Why are you asking this ridiculous question anyway? Everyone knows 70-year old females are as sexy as they want to be.

How often do 70 year old couples or 80 year old couples make love?

I invite you to ask this among all your friends and acquaintances who are vigorous, vital 70-year+ old couples. You probably won’t get a straight answer as to just how much sex they ARE having simply because they don’t want you to be JEALOUS.

Final Thoughts on Senior Sexuality…

I hope these insights help you embrace your senior sexuality confidently on your own terms, without limitations or judgment. This is your time to blossom into your truest, most fulfilled sensual self. Our sexuality and the ability to give and receive pleasure is a precious gift – now is the moment to celebrate it!

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